ÇARŞANBA STREET
IT'S IN KOCADEDE NEIGHBORHOOD OF KARAGUMRUK SUBDISTRICT OF FATIH DISTRICT,
BETWEEN MUSTEKIMZADE AND VALDE MADRASAH STREETS.
IT INTERSECTS WITH SILISTRE STREET.
WIDE ENOUGH FOR A CAR, PAVED WITH ROUGH STONE,
CURVES LEFT AND RIGHT, HAS TWO-STORY WOODEN AND CONCRETE HOUSES.
DOOR NUMBERS ARE 1-21 AND 2-24.
[Arabic prayer within mosque]
[imam] Allahu akbar.
Allahu akbar.
Allahu akbar…
ISTANBUL ENCYCLOPEDIA
-[automatic feeder whirring] -[dry cat food falling on plate]
Diego?
Diego.
[clicking tongue]
[soft hissing]
Diego!
[nostalgic music playing]
Diego! Diego!
Here, boy! Diego!
[cat meows]
Not you, baby, no. I'm looking for Diego.
[faint meowing]
Diego!
[phone ringing]
How are you, Mister Bekir?
[Bekir] Hello, Miss Caner.
Um… Is this urgent? Can I call you back in a bit, Mr. Bekir?
Miss Caner, the fingerprints in your file are out of date.
You have to come in soon.
And your interview is coming up.
-That's supposed to be today? -Uh, yep.
I tried to handle it without you,
but since you'll be there long-term, they're requesting an in-person interview.
[sighs] Okay.
Okay, Mr. Bekir, that's no problem.
[child] Mommy!
I'll take your ID.
-Fill this out and bring it in. -Uh-- I don't have one, I misplaced mine.
But how about this?
Alright. Head to the waiting room when you're done.
-We'll be with you very shortly. -Alright then.
ASSOCIATION OF TOMORROW'S INTELLECTUALS SCHOLARSHIP
[officer] Left thumb.
[beep]
[officer] Left four fingers.
Uh--
-[officer] Left four fingers. -Right. Yep.
-[beep] -[officer] Look at the camera.
Take a step back.
No smiling.
[woman] Now…
do you receive any financial assistance
from any other association or religious institution,
whether official or unofficial?
No.
If you were to get the scholarship, if you were to qualify,
what kind of support do you think it will provide you?
What will you use it for?
Just to get accommodation, that's my goal.
Yes, but in, um, Miss Janer's referral for you,
she mentioned you were staying with her at her place.
Well, she’s moving to France so I’ve gotta come up with some kind of solution
-Mm. -Mh-m.
Well, what is your biggest dream for your country?
What do you aspire to achieve, post-graduation?
Well first, I'd try to figure out the high rent problem.
I'd want to build homes as well as dorm rooms,
because we really have to think about every student here. Each one.
I'm sure you're aware, we don't accept applications between semesters.
But we hold Miss Caner dear. She's very important to our organization.
We'll take a look at your application.
We'll get back to you as soon as we can, if you can be patient.
-Is something wrong? -No.
[Zehra] Mm.
[in French] Do you have any acquaintances in France?
No.
Do you plan to return to your country within five years of your departure?
No, I want to stay there for the rest of my life.
You mean as long as France lets you.
-Of course. -Good.
What is the purpose of your leave?
It is stated clearly in my application.
Ma'am. Please answer the questions asked.
No more, no less.
Sure.
Your purpose of leave?
I want to continue my career in France.
Why?
Because I no longer want to live in Türkiye.
Why?
Because I can't live here anymore due to the country's cultural,
social, economic, and professional decline,
especially in the last ten years.
[sighs]
Ma'am, do you have a contract stating your future employment at the hospital?
Yes.
And passport, please.
Thank you.
[Selin] I mean, it's like I said,
try as much as you want to but if someone's emotionally closed off,
it's not gonna make a difference.
[Pelin] The overall package is what matters, baby.
-The whole package. -[Selin] Whatever you say.
-Hello, friends. -Okay, but this is what I realized.
This is actually big.
Man, there's one thing that's better than having sex,
which is, when you really need it, somebody scratching your back.
[Selin] That's the most ridiculous thing you've said this week.
-[Pelin] Shut it. -[laughs]
-Why? Did I say something wrong? -Hey, I'm starving, let's get some food.
Are we gonna order takeout or what? Let's order it online.
Uh, guys, look, I'm totally broke. We shouldn't have gone bowling.
Don't worry, honey. It's not just you, the whole country's broke.
-How on earth is bowling a luxury now? -Here she goes again.
[Selin] Come on, I mean it, things are getting bad.
[Dodo] Let's split a pizza then.
-Maybe we'll find a discount or something. -Gimme the phone, dude.
-Here. -I got it covered, you guys.
I'm going to find us a big thin crust pizza.
-[Dodo] Order a thick one, why less? -[Harun] Okay, a thick crust one too.
And what would you like for a topping?
Pepperoni.
A pepperoni pizza. It's a little bit old-fashioned, but--
-Miss Pelin, what would you like? -Five for one, please.
"Buy one, get five." She really showed Dodo.
Okay, Selin, my dear, what would you like?
-Man, let's get some fries on it. -Fries, wow, you're a visionary, girl.
This is a very important order for us.
The most important, it means so much to us.
-Zehra, how are you? -Fine, sir, how are you?
I'm fine too, thanks.
So what is your preference for this order?
Um…
-Mushroom pizza? -Mushrooms?
-Wonderful. -Thank you.
Many thanks to you, miss.
Now, we've all put in our pizza orders, so there's one thing left to do.
-[Pelin] Hm? -Pizza dance.
[Pelin] Nonsense, it works like half the time. Why bother?
-It works every time, actually. -[Dodo] Not nonsense, a good luck charm.
-I've seen it work. -It worked at the match the other day.
♪ Discounted pizza ♪
-[laughs] -♪ Discounted pizza ♪
♪ Discounted pizza ♪
-♪ Discounted pizza ♪ - ♪ Pepperoni and mushrooms! ♪
-Alright, I'm checking, I'm checking. -Do it, man.
-Here we go. -Goal!
[laughter]
[Pelion] God, you idiot! You scared me!
[laughter]
[Cihan] Come on, come on.
Alright, guys. Let's start with a warm-up first.
Listen to what I say.
You'll go faster every time I clap my hands.
[clap]
Four.
It's fast and it's big, and your route is fixed.
It's fast and it's big.
Five.
Then it's zero at some point.
When it's zero, it's zero, no movement at all. Even your eyes.
Imagine you've been floating in the air.
[exhaling]
[Cihan] Focus on your breathing.
You're by yourself, each one of you.
We're going to begin this week with Selin's story.
-Whenever you're ready, Selin. -[exhales]
[Selin] When I was a kid, I was able to travel abroad with my parents.
Back when even a civil servant was able to take his child on a trip.
Because it wasn't some luxury.
Twenty years of existence, and I've seen the dollar surge and grow.
I remember when it jumped from seven to 123 lira.
I think I was 14 years old.
Why did a 14-year-old have to deal with currency exchange rates?
We went to Hamburg.
On our first morning, we stopped by a café.
There was a woman in front of me with her child, deciding what to order.
They seemed so carefree.
As if she had no worries on her mind at all.
She wasn't in any sort of a hurry.
At first, I admired her sense of calm.
But as time went on, my admiration shifted into resentment and anger.
The anger I had towards a white European in many ways, wasn't strange.
But what was strange was…
that I had the same anger towards her little child.
I just couldn't accept that they could live in such prosperity.
I get it. It's not their fault.
[exhales]
But it's not my fault either.
[exhales]
[gasps]
[breathing shakily]
[clattering]
[breathing shakily]
[sobbing]
[breathing shakily]
[Serdar] I looked everywhere. I spoke with every shopkeeper.
-I had them put up flyers. -Of course, I saw. [sniff]
We're gonna find our little boy. Don't worry about that.
[cries]
-Call me if anything changes. -[Nesrin] Serdar.
I'm, uh…
It pains me to call on you like this,
after everything that's happened between us recently.
I just felt so lost and helpless.
It's fine. I am his father after all, am I not? [chuckles]
I… need your help, actually, with one more thing, if that's okay.
[Serdar] What is it?
Zehra and I argued.
She left the house.
I went to her school, but she wouldn't listen to anything I said, uh…
at least not in front of her friends, you know?
I don't know where she's sleeping, or, um … And I'm worried about her.
-She's probably just with her friends. -No.
She didn't tell them she wasn't at the apartment, so…
Her friends don't know.
I don't know if you'll be able to find out where she is,
but I'm overwhelmed because I don't know what's happened to her.
[Serdar] Give me her number.
[phone chimes]
You should have it.
Don't think this means any more than it does.
MISSING MY CAT DIEGO IS MISSING
[Fatıma] Hello, Zeynep.
How are you?
[sarcastically] Never better.
[Fatıma] What's wrong?
You know, a bit hopeless.
Homeless, too. Literally homeless.
Try not to lose hope yet. Give yourself some time. What's going on?
How could it be any worse?
There are endless ways that it could get worse, don't say that. [chuckles]
But in the end, no matter what,
if people just kept in mind that everything in life is temporary,
happiness, sadness, anxiety,
they'd all relax a little bit, wouldn't they?
I don't know anymore.
It's like anxiety finds it way in and, after a while,
it takes hold and I can't push it out.
Everything is beautiful though.
No matter how things go with us.
Sure, but why does it happen at all, then?
Just for us to witness, that's all.
I'm about done witnessing stuff, thank you.
[unzips bag]
From the local bakery. They're amazing.
A kandil treat.
-[Fatıma chuckles softly] -Thank you, really.
We're um, gonna have a kandil program with some friends. Wanna join?
I can't.
-Why not? It'll be-- -I can't come.
Okay. Up to you.
Enjoy your class, Zeynep.
Yeah, you too.
[gentle music playing]
KARDEŞ BAKERY KANDİL BAGELS
[knocking]
[distant chanting]
[knocking]
Zeynep?
They were amazing.
Uh…
-Are you joining us? -Yeah, may I?
Sure. Come right in. Welcome.
-Should I take off my shoes here? -Yeah, take them off.
-I've got some slippers for you. -Okay. Thank you.
[in Arabic] I repented of all my sins and mistakes.
Blasphemy, polytheism, rebellion, sin and fault.
Whatever happened, I repented and felt regret.
Oh, Mighty Allah,
for any blasphemy, profanity, rebellion, or shirk we commit,
knowingly or unknowingly, through our hands or through our tongues,
in secrecy or in plain sight,
at night or during the day, we tawbah,
we repent for and regret all of it, and turn toward you.
[in Arabic] I bear witness that there is no god but Allah.
And again I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and messenger.
[In English] We're grateful to be truly able to take our last breath in faith.
[in Arabic] I bear witness that there is no god but Allah.
And again I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and messenger.
[in English] To eventually pass across the Sirat bridge with lightning speed.
[in Arabic] I bear witness that there is no god but Allah.
And again I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and messenger.
[peaceful music playing]
[knocking]
-Hello. -Can I help you?
-My name is Nesrin Caner. -Yes?
-Sorry, may I ask what your name is also? -Fatıma. Who are you looking for?
-Fatma, pleased to meet you. -Fatıma.
Excuse me?
My name is Fatıma, not Fatma.
Oh…
I'm so sorry.
Fatıma, of course.
I'm, uh, Zehra Demirci's aunt, I'm, um…
I'm looking for her. I'd like to see her, if you don't mind.
Uh, there's no one by that name here.
Mm.
[In Arabic] Allahu akbar.
Samee Allahu leeman hameeda.
Allahu akbar.
[Fatıma] How did she find this place then?
I have no idea, but-- But don't worry, she won't come again.
-Want me to speak to her for you? -No, I've got it, it's fine.
Don't bother about it.
-By the way… -Mm?
Zehra is a middle name.
Zeynep Zehra.
Lot of Z's.
And the two of us are Fatıma al-Zehra together.
You haven't eaten?
Um, I'm not so hungry.
There's no need to worry. Everything here is halal. Safe to eat.
Of course, that's not what I meant, but I'm just not hungry. That's all.
You might wanna try the kibbeh, though. I'm very good at kibbeh.
Sarma too, try that.
Mm.
Yeah, it's delicious. Really well done, good work.
-What do you do for a living? -I'm a doctor.
I take it you're students, of course?
Of course. All of us are students here. I'll be graduating pretty soon.
-[Nesrin] What's your major? -I'm studying genetics.
How interesting.
Why?
Uh… No, I just… I mean, great.
We're both in the healthcare industry. Look how interesting that is.
Yes, soon we will be. Inshallah.
I'm, uh, okay, I'm fine. I'm fine without any tea.
Uh…
We don't get along, tea and me. No one enjoys it.
Sorry to hear that.
Thank you.
All of you live here together?
Yeah. Getting the rent together is always tough, but you know how it is.
When Zehra moves in with us
we'll finally be able to divide rent in a way that works for all of us.
May I have a word in private please?
Why do you keep coming to find me wherever I go?
-What are you even doing here, Zehra? -What am I doing?
-Is your neck red? -No, it's not.
-Wait, It's not. -Just let me see your neck!
You're covered in hives, Zehra.
Good job. Push yourself a little harder.
Gosh, Zehra, come on.
It's Istanbul, the big city.
You can't just go running off in the middle of the night.
-What if something had happened? -Would you be worried?
Your big solution's to stay here? These people are strangers to you.
They aren't. Fatıma is a friend, it's okay.
Your friend who doesn't even know your name.
She never judged me, like some people.
Zehra, will you please pack up your bag and come back to the apartment with me?
-It's not my apartment. -And this is?
-I'm homeless. Stop yelling at me. -Zehra, don't, please.
You gave me a deadline. I didn't do what you asked me to.
Look, Zehra, I asked you to call her, that's all I asked of you, dear.
A basic line of communication to explain the situation,
so let's drop this, give her a call and be done.
-That's impossible. -Come on, why?
-I just can't, okay? -Just call your mother, that's all.
-Zehra. Come on, why-- -She knows everything already!
What?
You mean your mother knew?
What, are you stupid?
Is it even possible I be at your place without my mother knowing?
But you said you lied to me.
-I know, but that was the lie. -Why, Zehra why?
Because I couldn't bear to listen to the condescending and disgusting tone
you used when you were talking about my mother!
I'm not sure what it is, I don't know what happened between you,
you had a falling out, but that's my mother!
But I can't stand the hate pouring out of you,
out of your words. out of your looks. It’s unbearable, Nesrin!
I was pretty sure it would be this way.
Oh man, she told me it'd be this way.
So you were prepared to hate me whatever I would have done, is that right?
It didn't matter a bit.
I wanted to love you, I did.
I feel you piercing me with your gaze as if I were my own mother, I'm aware.
-Why do you hate her so much? -That's a personal matter for us.
-What could you possibly know? -It's perfectly clear.
From the moment you set eyes on me, you praised how contemporary I was.
You said "Wow such a modern girl she is."
You were proud.
-But then you started judging me. -Zehra.
You needed a place to stay and I gave you one, I accepted it.
Overlooking how inconvenient it was, I immediately gave you a place.
And I didn't know anything about you at all.
And then when I found out your mother didn't know, of course, I worried.
I pushed back 'cause she had a right to know what was going on with her daughter.
Out of respect for her, for both of you. There's nothing more to it, Zehra.
Please, just put aside this resentment and, for God's sake, come home.
You're uncomfortable now 'cause everyone here wears hijabs, aren't you?
You'd feel vindicated if we would just offer you a glass of wine, wouldn't you?
So superior.
Ah!
And I'm sure you'd be thrilled if we poured it like a soda.
Don't be silly, Zehra. It's a bit much.
Oh I know all about every sorry glance, every pitying stare.
It’s been my whole life. I'm used to it.
-It's my life. -What do you mean, Zehra?
Really, what are you saying?
Because you absolutely have not been getting this from me.
And what I went through with her is a tough subject, you understand?
You're completely oblivious. You can't comprehend.
But it means so much to me, you have to stop using it against me. Please.
-Is that a fact? -Yes, it is!
You're judging me based on nothing! You don't know what you're talking about!
But now you're staying with these people you don't know, it's crazy!
It doesn't make sense! You're nuts if you think I'll let you stay with strangers.
You think it's my dream to stay in this place?
I've been avoiding this since coming to Istanbul,
this is what I tried to get away from.
I fled the people who thought like this to be with you in Istanbul.
Why would I want to leave that incredible home of yours
and come to this crowded, stinking place, huh?
-Am I an idiot? -It seems like it, yeah!
Stop being stubborn and let's go!
You never accepted me. You judged me, that’s why I stay with people who get me.
I've done things for you I'd never do, never do for anybody else!
I've been doing them for you. I'm not letting you stay a moment longer.
-I'm not going until you come with me. -You'll be waiting forever then.
I won't go back with you.
Look at me.
Look at me. Look at me.
[poignant music playing]
I wanna say sorry.
I mean it, I am.
Just…
Just come back with me, Zehra.
I didn't want that scholarship you referred me to.
I have my pride, you know.
I'm not quite as proud as I am poor, however.
[poignant music continues]
[Zehra] "Çarşanba Street."
"In the Karagümrük district of Fatih municipality,
from the streets of the Kocadede neighborhood,
it stretches between Müstekimzade and Valde Madrasa Street."
"It has an intersection with Silistre Street."
"It's wide enough for one car to pass, paved with rough stones."
"Winding left and right,
it goes between two-story houses, made of wood and concrete."
"Door numbers range from 1-21 to 2-24."
Çarşanba Street.
Reporting from my personal Çarşanba Street.
With an N.
Didn't they use to say it with an N? And it later became an M?
I know the word Çarşamba.
The architectural drawings don't do this city justice.
I'm not just idly walking through monotonous corridors.
It feels more like I'm in the belly of a snake.
I've been swallowed.
No place to move.
I'm slipping. I'm slipping into the stomach of the snake.
I cling desperately to all the other undigested souls.
I'm never alone. Hello, my friend.
Sometimes I think, you and I alone can live in this city.
Sometimes I feel that I could fit in a suitcase.
Uncomfortable, but not impossible.
Actually, this is all the space I occupy anyway. A suitcase.
I leave it with the security guard in the morning.
I pick it up after class.
You can be my home.
My home and my shell. My shell and my home.
I can be your fleshy, juicy, alive half.
And I'll just stretch my arms out into to the winding streets like a limpet.
A suitcase of my own, a shell.
A room of light in these streets I roam.
I've decided to continue my life as a crustacean.
Mom, I've become a suitcase.